Being Consistent

Many of the things we do to reach teens are fairly simple. Of course prayer and Bible study are essential, but often it's the small things that enable us to create an environment in which teens make positive decisions.

Setting clear consistent guidelines is one of those details that become exceedingly important. If we understand that teenagers are naturally trying to assert their independence and yet still desperately need their parents, we begin to understand the confusing world of a teenager. Teenagers need guidelines and boundaries, so let's help them to establish some.

Rewards and Concequenses

What are the rules you want enforced? Don't go overboard, focus on three to five behaviors. What are the consequences if a rule is broken? What are the rewards or privileges of obeying the rules? For example: Johnny is supposed to be home at 10.30pm. We've written the rule in a contract and have both signed it. If he obeys the rule for six months, we will extend it to 11.00pm. If he breaks curfew, he's not allowed to go out the next weekend night.

Remember that teenagers are very literal and will look for loopholes. We get around this by looking for loopholes and explaining exactly what we mean.

When it's all written out beforehand, we don't need to get angry when a rule gets broken. We all know the consequences and it simply becomes a matter of enforcing them.

Make your rules, consequences and rewards very clear before a problem occurs.